24 Aug

Made With "The Best Stuff On Earth"


Yeah, that's right, it's Snapple. What was "the best stuff on earth" anyway? What's there to hide? Why not say "We use the purest water" or "We use 100% cherry juice to flavor it..."

Ever have your parents tell you what it was like to have a real strawberry fountain drink? Yeah, I wish I could have experienced it too. And it's these type of things that made the phrase "they don't make things like they used to" possible. So we're left trying to figure out just what they do put in foods nowadays.

So a new trend now is for products to start touting particular ingredients on the front of the packaging. It's like they want us to do cartwheels and get all excited when we recognize a particular ingredient within a food product.

What the hell type of cheese was it before? Thank goodness, no High Fructose Corn Syrup

I mean, Pepsi's move from high fructose corn syrup back to sugar is awesome. I do like the flavor better. And I know what sugar is, so that's a lot better sounding than high fructose corn syrup.

And Ritz Bits... now made with REAL cheese. Um, at least this mystery ingredient is now solved, but if it's real cheese, why doesn't it have to be kept in a refrigerator? I mean, I know parmesean cheese doesn't need to be kept chilled, but they don't use parmesean cheese in Ritz. Anyway, I'm getting off track...

Pop Tarts, Juice Boxes and Fruit Snacks made with real fruit. Even Egg Beaters saying they're made with real eggs... they're all touting "now with real" ingredients that are everyday items.

So I ran into a sample pack of Dentyne Pure -- gum that freshens your breath. On the front of the packet is "With NeutraFRESH" (see picture below)

NeutraFRESH?  

Forget about knowing what the hell this is/means, has anyone not involved with the Cadbury company or the Trademark Office even heard of the word NeutraFRESH?

I mean, it's like I'm walking down the aisles in the grocery store going "Let's see... Juicy Fruit.. nope, sorry, no NeutraFRESH. Big Red.. nope. Wrigley's... nope. Big League Chew.. nope. AHA! Dentyne Pure's got it! Nice." [throw package of gum in cart].

Do you know ANY other products made with NeutraFRESH? Why are you featuring it on the front of the package when everyone's going to be scratching their head at what it means? I mean, why don't you put "Now made with Phenylalanine!" And to further play into the joke, phenylalanine is C6H5CH2CH(NH2)COOH.

NeutraFRESH is probably just another man-made chemical that causes cancer. We keep making great progress finding cures for specific types of cancer, but keep raising the bar effectively inventing new ones to keep the labs busy.

So it's nice we are putting ingredients we can recognize, or heck, MENTION in things we eat. It's even better that it's put on the front of packaging. But these unknown ingredients that are touted on the front of the package keeps me asking "Why?"

Categories: Gripe Read More

17 Aug

"I get de-lirious...." - Prince


Most of us have experienced this -- either it has happened to you, or you've seen this happen to others. A celebrity or event comes along which gets someone excited and then they lose all sense of sanity that they become delirious.

Oh my goodness, you're my favorite baseball player!

AHHHH.. It's a Glee movie... and it's 3D... I totally have to see it because it's GLEE!

So my employer is hosting a Career Development week, currently planned for September. The announcement was made via our intranet site. Under the announcement is a comment box, where anyone can leave a comment. I've posted a snapshot of the announcement, and the first 5 comments. Trust me, you'll be glad I stopped at 5 -- you'll have a hard time keeping down your breakfast/lunch, and I thought a good balance between this and getting my point across was 5. (I removed the last names from the picture)

*bleh*  

Honestly, these people must have got ahold of a pure batch of crops from Columbia and smoked it right before posting. I mean, seriously, these posts have to be planted (sorry about the pun there). [The employer] HASN'T EVEN DONE ANYTHING YET, other than posting a date! You don't know how involved it's going to be, as there's no information about the event. You're purely speculating how good it's going to be.

"Wow, cool!"

THERE'S. NO. CONTENT. THERE.

"... model behavior... plan for ongoing skill & knowledge development"

Please stop with the buzzwords. You must already be an executive.

"refreshing and encouraging...executive team outwardly encourages their employees to grow in stature"

Who were you working for before? Give me one company that insists that their employees remain life-long cashiers. Even McDonalds encourages moving up the corporate ladder! It's how you create the next generation of leaders!

I'm going to be looking up these people in our employee database to see if they're even employees. If they are, I'll bet you that every one of them (except the buzzword person) was hired in the last month. In other words, they're still on the honeymoon period of their hiring. That, or every company has its nodders and cheerleaders. RAH RAH!!!

"Lose all self-control, baby just can't steer... I get delirious!"

Categories: Amusement , Gripe Read More

12 Aug

Surely IHOP will eventually come out with better syrup!


Only been to IHOP one time. 5 years ago. Gave IHOP one more chance, to see what's changed in the 5 years. Outside of their prices, and some dish with chicken fingers on top of pancakes, not much else.

Food is good (slightly more expensive than I would have thought for breakfast-type food, but that's not the point). Of course, I had to get something that came with a stack of pancakes -- after all, it's IHOP.

But there's one thing that unfortunately hasn't changed... their syrup.

If you've ever wanted to find something thinner than water, you've found it.

If you've ever wondered what water with a touch of sugar and food coloring tasted like, you've found it.

If you've ever sought 4 different syrups that all somehow tasted the same, you've found it.

And I learned my lesson last time... try the syrup before you smother your pancakes with it. And upon sitting down for this visit, I noticed a new flavor -- boysenberry! (My favorite -- from Perkins). Hey, we might have a chance here! IHOP can totally redeem themselves!

So I poured a small sample on an empty plate. Visually, nothing has changed from 5 years ago -- runny as hell. Maybe I can deal with it though, if it tastes good. The verdict: The syrup was so horrible, I decided to forego all syrup and just eat my pancakes... with only butter :(

What a crock. I guess if I ever visit again, I'm going to have to bring my own bottle of syrup. That, or siphon a couple of bottles of Perkins' boysenberry syrup in my black trenchcoat, a la the Chi Chi's guy with the salsa.

Categories: Gripe Read More

02 Aug

Village Idiot III


First off, I think I should lablel this Village Idiots...

Stock up on your school supplies quickly! That's right, Walgreens is having a 9 folders for 1 cent sale right now! Need proof?

Wow, what a deal.  I'll take 5.  Here's a penny, keep the change!

Wow, what a deal! I'll take 5. Here's a penny, keep the change!

This isn't the first time this has happened either. It just happens to be the first time I got a photo of it. Last year, they had Coke 2-liters for a penny (.99¢) and candy bars for a penny (.50¢).

Why do you feel the need to add the decimal point when you already have the cents sign?

And to think I trust them for my prescriptions!

Categories: Gripe , Village Idiot Read More

 
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