24 Aug

Made With "The Best Stuff On Earth"

Yeah, that's right, it's Snapple. What was "the best stuff on earth" anyway? What's there to hide? Why not say "We use the purest water" or "We use 100% cherry juice to flavor it..."

Ever have your parents tell you what it was like to have a real strawberry fountain drink? Yeah, I wish I could have experienced it too. And it's these type of things that made the phrase "they don't make things like they used to" possible. So we're left trying to figure out just what they do put in foods nowadays.

So a new trend now is for products to start touting particular ingredients on the front of the packaging. It's like they want us to do cartwheels and get all excited when we recognize a particular ingredient within a food product.

What the hell type of cheese was it before? Thank goodness, no High Fructose Corn Syrup

I mean, Pepsi's move from high fructose corn syrup back to sugar is awesome. I do like the flavor better. And I know what sugar is, so that's a lot better sounding than high fructose corn syrup.

And Ritz Bits... now made with REAL cheese. Um, at least this mystery ingredient is now solved, but if it's real cheese, why doesn't it have to be kept in a refrigerator? I mean, I know parmesean cheese doesn't need to be kept chilled, but they don't use parmesean cheese in Ritz. Anyway, I'm getting off track...

Pop Tarts, Juice Boxes and Fruit Snacks made with real fruit. Even Egg Beaters saying they're made with real eggs... they're all touting "now with real" ingredients that are everyday items.

So I ran into a sample pack of Dentyne Pure -- gum that freshens your breath. On the front of the packet is "With NeutraFRESH" (see picture below)


Forget about knowing what the hell this is/means, has anyone not involved with the Cadbury company or the Trademark Office even heard of the word NeutraFRESH?

I mean, it's like I'm walking down the aisles in the grocery store going "Let's see... Juicy Fruit.. nope, sorry, no NeutraFRESH. Big Red.. nope. Wrigley's... nope. Big League Chew.. nope. AHA! Dentyne Pure's got it! Nice." [throw package of gum in cart].

Do you know ANY other products made with NeutraFRESH? Why are you featuring it on the front of the package when everyone's going to be scratching their head at what it means? I mean, why don't you put "Now made with Phenylalanine!" And to further play into the joke, phenylalanine is C6H5CH2CH(NH2)COOH.

NeutraFRESH is probably just another man-made chemical that causes cancer. We keep making great progress finding cures for specific types of cancer, but keep raising the bar effectively inventing new ones to keep the labs busy.

So it's nice we are putting ingredients we can recognize, or heck, MENTION in things we eat. It's even better that it's put on the front of packaging. But these unknown ingredients that are touted on the front of the package keeps me asking "Why?"

Categories: Gripe