02 Aug

Village Idiot III


First off, I think I should lablel this Village Idiots...

Stock up on your school supplies quickly! That's right, Walgreens is having a 9 folders for 1 cent sale right now! Need proof?

Wow, what a deal.  I'll take 5.  Here's a penny, keep the change!

Wow, what a deal! I'll take 5. Here's a penny, keep the change!

This isn't the first time this has happened either. It just happens to be the first time I got a photo of it. Last year, they had Coke 2-liters for a penny (.99¢) and candy bars for a penny (.50¢).

Why do you feel the need to add the decimal point when you already have the cents sign?

And to think I trust them for my prescriptions!

Categories: Gripe , Village Idiot Read More

26 Feb

Your Village Idiot (Episode II)


Let me introduce you to my employer's parking ramp. Pretty neat, huh? Let's play a game. You remember the back page of the Highlights magazine.. yeah... that's right... find all the silly things wrong with the picture. So let me set up the situation:

The time: Monday, February 21st, 2011 at 6:15am

The place: Covered parking ramp

The happenings: 19" of snow fell the night before

Here's your Highlights picture -- a car that was parked next to me. Spot all the things wrong! Spoiler alert... the answers are below, so don't scroll down if you don't want to see the answers (but I think you won't need the answers on this one)

Too much to clean off, I guess

Now keep in mind that it's 6:15 IN THE MORNING!!!

No, one of the silly things is NOT the burned-out lightbulb in the background of the picture.

It's not that you're late for work...

It's not like it's dark outside or anything... (sarcasm, if you couldn't catch it)

Being able to see outside your car is overrated...

CLEAN OFF YOUR CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not only can't you see outside your passenger windows, but what you can't see is that the back window is just as bad as the passenger window!!!

Really? Is it too much to clean off your car? Endanger yourself AND possibly others while driving. And to think that it's against the law to drive around with the dice hanging from the rear-view mirror -- somehow the police don't stop this kind of behavior. I thought stuff like this was saved for the inner city.

Snow on the window, snow on the headlights, snow covering the license plates... it's too much work to clean off the car after the biggest snowfall of the year in that city. And you can see the fresh tire tracks (as they were pulling in).

For this, you get the highly-coveted Schoms' Village Idiot Seal-of-Approval!

Congrats. You're in good company with the green Chevy truck driver.

Categories: Gripe , Village Idiot Read More

19 Feb

We introduce... your Village Idiot (Episode I)


The people driving pickup trucks are generally good drivers. But of course, there's always the one moron that ruins it. You know, like when you were at recess, about ready to start the game of football. You've just about got the teams selected when out of the blue comes Derek Stuckinbooks. You know he can't cover worth a damn, catch worth a damn... heck, he can't even play! But you know if you don't include him, the recess supervisor is gonna ream you a la Coach Buzzcut

Coach Buzzcut  

So I was coming home from the library and the following happened -- picture it. 4-lane road (2 each direction) with 10-15 cars waiting at a traffic light. I'm in the right lane a few cars behind a green Chevy pickup truck. The light turns green and the truck accelerates normally. Then, after 1/8 of a mile or so, the truck suddenly puts on his blinker, apparently wanting to get into the left lane. And as he puts on the blinker....

... HE STOPS! In the right lane of a 50mph road. We're all stuck, because the cars in the left lane are already doing 40-50mph and this moron decides 'Duhhh, I gotta get over now because that's the road I want to take! Silly ol' me... I got a truck, I can do this'

Here's the picture of the scenario (actual overhead picture of the site)

I guess no other place to go but nowhere!

The Village Idiot wanted to make a left turn (blue arrow above)

For the love... IT'S OK TO MISS YOUR TURN!!!! YOU HAVE OPTIONS WITHOUT INTERRUPTING TRAFFIC AND YET STILL GET TO YOUR DESTINATION WITHOUT CAUSING AN ACCIDENT:

  1. Make a U-turn at the very next intersection (if you can get over to the left lane)
  2. If attempting option #1 and it fails, either go straight and make a U-turn further ahead or make a right turn at the major intersection (just off the top of the photo) and turn around

Why it is that people turn off their brains when driving. I'm sure you've seen the multitude of people that panic on the freeway when they're about to miss their exit... they do the same thing and practically (and some cases literally) stop on the freeway.

GO TO THE NEXT EXIT!!!!!! IT'S OK TO DO SO! JUST DON'T CAUSE AN ACCIDENT

And you wonder why there's road rage. Think, people, come on! This kind of crap is part of the reason why fender-benders happen.

(in case you were wondering, I'm the fourth purple car behind the Village Idiot) :)

Categories: Gripe , Village Idiot Read More

 
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